Do you know the feeling when you have subscribed to a magazine that you no longer have time to read? It used to be a delight in your mailbox that you would devour cover to cover. Now, when you see it tucked in with the bills and credit card offers, it just stresses you out. I used to have this feeling with Writer’s Digest. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to cancel the subscription because I liked what the subscription said about me: that I was a writer. At that point, I wasn’t sure of this yet.
I have a tendency to hold on to things that I think define me. Old copies of Writers Digest, The Sun, and Success. Training programs for endurance races. Implementation plans for business ideas that I will never pursue. Grant writing projects that have fallen stagnant. And yet, I can no longer give these things the attention I once could. Instead, I am always telling myself I’ll get around to it. Yet, days turn into weeks into months, and I never do.
Turning your back on past is the only way to prevent it from tethering you. Boast your past successes for too long and soon nothing will ever match up again. Mourn your failures too long and you’ll convince yourself of your incompetence. I’ve decided to turn my back on both. I’ve been redirecting my energies toward envisioning where I want to be tomorrow and teaching myself how to get there.
I am grateful to be moving forward, no matter how scary it feels not looking back.
One response to “On not looking back”
I enjoyed your piece Unwelcome Hospitality from the Go Your Own Way book. It was vividly insightful. I thought all the drilling questions were hilarious.